The great philosopher Noah Bularz once said ” Fuck fantasy football” and I could not agree more this week. At the very least we got close matchups this week but really, a bunch of bullshit close matchups. If you won this week, fuck you because you are probably a piece of shit and didnt deserve your win. If you lost this week, I feel for you because only a bunch of buttfucking d-bags got wins this week. I think all of us that lost this week just have a couple of things on our minds that these gifs will show.
So yea, basically, fuck fantasy football.
So Josh beat me. The least sound about that the better. Halfway into the season he decides to have the two best games he might have ever had and decides to have his best game of the season on me. If this game is going to effect me later in the season in the standings it will be more than a finger that gets flipped. Shit is going to go down. I will hand it to Josh for looking like he is turning his team around, it might be too little to late for a playoff run, but Apathy seems to be an ill-fitting name at this point. I would suggest Fag, but thats just my opinion.
The only other person that might be as pissed as me this week (and the only person that can put down an entire tub of ice cream like that bitch above) is that great philosopher Noah. Its not often that you put up 143 points and lose. Its even less often that you go down by more than 30 points to start the week, comeback to take 75 point lead, score 143 points and still lose. Haskins takes first place in the league with this win and at this point you cant argue that he doesn’t deserve it. Noah ends up in the clusterfuck 4 way tie for 2nd place but has got to be hating that he missed out of the chance for first place all by himself because of a week like this.
We actually had a closer game than Noah and Haksins this week. and honestly I couldnt tell if if was the grease from his hair, the cum/lube combo that is constantly dripping from Sko’s anus or plain lucky but something helped Montmuch squeak by Sko this week by a slim 2.14 points. Sko is still leading the league in scoring yet would get into the playoffs with the very last spot. Montmich, on the other hand, is 3rd to last in scoring and is still in front of Sko in the standings. So yea, im guessing Sko is saying “fuck fantasy football” this week too.
Im not sure why by Schlecht awkwardly dancing to every win this year really just feels right. His team is filled with so much shit, I mean the guy barely broke the 750 point mark for the season. So you’re damn right he is celebrating every single fluke win like he his Carlton. Granted at least this week it was over another team of shit, putting up the biggest beatdown of the week. Crazy how the biggest beatdown of the week this week would have been the smallest margin of victory last week. Anyway both of these teams are still stuck trying to fight their way into the playoffs and are going to need to beat some credible teams to actually get there. As for now Tyler is gonna keep taking after his idol and keep inviting high school girls into a hottub and Schlecht is gonna keep dancing away until Alex realizes the huge mistake she has made.
Lastly we had Stat Man Dan Weltzin pulling the upset over top contender Jordan even with starting Owen Daniels who had surgery on Friday. Classic Dan, hoping the guy plays 2 days after getting his knee cut open. Or even more Classic Dan and he just felt like disrespecting Jordan and wanted to show he could beat him with one less player. We all know Dan and its probably the second one. Rage still stays in the hunt for that first round bye and Dan takes a big step in his playoff hopes with a pretty close win and is now only one game out of the playoffs.
And thats about all that I can handle for the day folks. I barely pulled myself out of bed after this last loss. I think im gonna head back, maybe bring a bottle of grain alcohol with me, cuddle up with Pig and just kinda hate myself for losing to Josh. Any of the other losers this week are welcome to join me. No homo of course. But I get a little horny with the grain alcohol in me…. Until next week you bastards.